Hen Pecked

I love chickens.  We have had them time and again on our farm.  I think next spring I will get some more. They are fairly stupid animals, creatures of habit, but I love to watch them peck and scratch and come running when you bring them grain. And, once one comes running, or does anything for that matter, they all seem to join in without knowing why.  Mob mentality, I suppose - if one does it, they all do.

I was with my sister-in-law and friend the other day and they talked about how most blogs seem to be women promoting their "perfect" lives.  Well, this post isn't one of those.  

You see, with six kids, I relish my quiet time when they are all at school, it's true.  That doesn't make me a bad mom, just one who is trying to regain her sanity after afternoons and evenings spent in servitude to every need.  I love my kids, adore them really.  I just need time to refuel.

  I also cherish the time when we are all together.  With Emilee gone to college, it's rare that we are all home at the same time.  She is now home for the holidays and the children are home for the weekend.  So, without basketball games yesterday (shocking, I know), we were all home all day long.

There is this crazy thing chickens do.  If one chicken is weaker or slightly different, the others will peck at it.  Hence the term "hen pecked" when someone is getting bullied or picked on.  The hens will casually continue to do this until they draw blood.  Once this happens, it's all over for the poor hen who's getting pecked.  At this point, they go crazy until the poor thing is dead.  It is so sad and so unnecessary. 

This is how I felt yesterday.  I was so looking forward to a day without an agenda and time to get some Christmas projects done.  I did get to sleep in until eight (a big feat for me), but it was all down hill from there.  None of my kids treated me cruelly or unkind, but the constant "Mom?", "Mom, can I make muffins?", "Mom, help me buy these presents online", "Mom, I need to go to town and buy treats", "Mom, I am hungry, when is lunch?" (@ 11:00 a.m., and "Mom, I am bored".  It was all a little too much to take.  I finally sat down at 3:30 to watch the Potato Bowl  and instantly fell asleep for an hour.  What a waste of time.  Sad that the only quiet time I get, I have to be asleep for. 

By the end of the day, I was ornery and just wanted to run away.  I hadn't accomplished anything that I had wanted.  I did find a greek recipe online for Herman's presentation on Monday.  I also got the laundry done.  Although I felt like I'd been "pecked" at all day, I really didn't do much of anything or get much accomplished.  I told David while we were laying in bed, "I guess that's what I signed up for when I had six kids".  It's true.  I love them all and want to help them all, but yesterday was just unnerving for me.  Maybe my expectations where too high, maybe my kids need better imaginations, maybe they need more confidence so that they can do more on their own, maybe it's my own fault....

Anyway, truth be told, I am scared for the holidays.  I have looked forward to them all fall - the few weeks when we will all be together and celebrate.  Maybe yesterday was a good wake-up call for me.  I can't expect to relax too much because there are too many of them....and that's okay because I wouldn't trade them for the world.  After a night's sleep, I can easily see that the small amount of frustration is truly worth all the joy they bring me.  Just glad no one tried to point that out to me yesterday.