Winter Halo

For the past few weeks, I have had the opportunity to get up and take Lottie to her early morning basketball practices.  This means my alarm goes off at 5:15 most mornings.  Once I'm up, I am actually grateful for the chance to have a quiet meditation time before getting the rest of the family up for school.  Just to be honest, every night before my early rising, I hate the idea of getting up over an hour earlier than necessary.

I was pretty beat last night as I climbed into bed around 10:00 p.m. and was happy about my early retirement.  I actually started to fall asleep faster than usual.  I real dream, right?  It didn't last.  Around 10:30, I was startled by Hannah rushing into our room announcing that we MUST go outside and see the moon.  It wasn't good enough to look out the window, she insisted that we had to venture to the porch to truly appreciate the beauty in the sky.

As we looked up at the moon, in the crisp night air, we beheld a moon ring.  I had never really seen one before and was in awe.  Also called a Winter Halo, this phenomenon happens when light from a full moon is reflected off of ice particles in the upper atmosphere.  Folklore has it that a moon ring warns of a winter storm.  You could figure out how many days until it's arrival by counting the stars that were encircled by the ring. From the photo, it looks like we have one day until the snow flies....now that would be a dream!

It was so beautiful - no amount of sleep could replace the feeling of wonder in that moment.  Thank you, Hannah!

Droughts

Sundays are a day for rejuvenation.  A time that is sacred for our family.  It's the only day all week that we have no where we HAVE to be.  It's a day for sleeping 'til 8:00 and making a real breakfast, for taking time to visit with each other and laugh, for choosing what we want to do, not what we need to do.  It's exactly what I need to conquer the oncoming week.

Dust bowl - drought

Last night we watched a documentary on PBS by Ken Burns (I love PBS and Ken Burns).  It covered the history of the dust bowl that took place during the 1930's in the corners of Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, and Texas.  I have always been intrigued about what could cause such a horrible disaster and how mankind could set themselves up for such pain and suffering.  I now understand the history behind it.  It was the perfect storm - the wheat price booming at the end of the 20's and the jump in production because of this, the crash that started the Great Depression and the bottom falling out on wheat prices which increased production even more, the previous years that saw more precipitation than normal for that region and the confidence it gave new farmers, the industrialization of farming and the ability to plant and harvest many more acres than before, and all of this followed by years of unprecedented drought.  What hardship these people faced - physically and emotionally.  How the lack of rain produced a lack of money and no way to really fix the situation.  There were no answers.  There was no help.  All they could do was wait for rain and hope that they could merely survive. "If it rains..."

As I laid down to go to sleep, I got thinking about "droughts".  It seems like we all have droughts in our lives - in one way or another.  Some are self imposed.  Just like the farmers who pushed their land beyond what it could maintain and support, there are times when we push our own limits to the point of self deprivation.  Other droughts we have no solutions for and just have to hope that we will survive.  I thought back on the lovely day I had enjoyed and realized that I had spent the day ending a few droughts.

My mother always encouraged us to be creative.  Whether that was through theatrical productions, dancing on the patio, or creating some kind of art, she wanted us to learn how to creatively express ourselves.  I find my outlet in sewing.  I took many 4-H classes and have always enjoyed working with fabric.  Looking at my cupboard, one might call it an obsession.  With life being busy, as of late, I haven't taken much time to be creative - especially not with my sewing machine.  Yesterday I found time to work on some projects.  I finished up a dress that I started months ago.  I found a vintage pattern at a thrift store and fell in love.  Lucky for me, once I finished and tried it on, I fell in love again.  The picture doesn't do it justice.  Now I just need a place to wear it.

I also constructed another day to night dress.  If you are interested, you can  check it out under the re-purpose tab.

One of the droughts that is out of my control, is the scarcity of time that all of my children are under one roof.  Sunday is usually a day that we get rejuvenated because Em comes home to do laundry.  Sometimes she is in a hurry and hustles away as soon as her clothes are folded.  Yesterday, she hung around for awhile.  Since I was upstairs sewing, they all ended up playing UNO up in my bedroom.

All of them laughing and playing together is a joy to this mom.  It was definitely refreshing!

Come rain or shine, life is an ongoing experiment with adjustments needing to be made constantly - at least for me.  I guess I don't have it all figured out yet.  I am just grateful for times when it is made apparent that some tweaking needs to happen. And for those things out of my control, I will be more grateful for the times the wind shifts in my favor.

My First Born

It's not easy being the first born. I always thought middle children had it the hardest, but there are times that I question that assumption.  Through the years, as I've tried and sometimes failed at the "firsts" of being a mom, I've realized that being the parental guinea pig isn't an easy task.  Because of this, I am so thankful for Emilee Jane, our oldest, for being so patient with me and her father as we charter new adventures as she grows older.

From the moment she entered this world, she has been daddy's little girl.  They shared many firsts together - chips and sour cream, checking the cows, and barrettes in David's hair.  She could get him to do things that I would have never dreamed possible.  He did and would still do anything for her. There were times I was a little jealous of their relationship, but I am so happy that they share that special father/daughter bond.

Emilee is the oldest of six and she had her share of responsibility from an early age.  She was my right hand man (or girl) when it came to helping in the house and with her siblings.  There were times, I am sure, that they thought she was bossy, but as they have gotten older, they realize what a great big sister they have.  She has been a great example of hard work, dedication, and doing what is right.  She has a big heart and is willing to sacrifice her time in support of her siblings.  As parents, we couldn't have asked for anything more.

Emilee now has a new family - her college family.  She is only a half hour away and we end up seeing her at least once a week, but we still miss her.  We know she is having fun, learning a lot, and finding out who she is. It has been a delight watching her experience new things and to know that she is capable of accomplishing all that she sets her mind to.  We have a lot of faith in her and know that she will make this world a better place just by being herself.

On Sunday, I missed seeing her walk up the stairs and being the first to wish her happy birthday.  We did make it to Logan to celebrate with her, but as I sat across the table from her, I realized that she isn't my little girl anymore, she is an adult.  I am so proud of her and the lady she is becoming.  As my role of mother dwindles and my role as friend and confidant grows, I feel so blessed to have had her as my daughter.....and a little old!  Love you, Em!!

Feels Like Home

Family.  Over the last few years the definition of family has broadened and now includes a tapestry of traditional, blended, and unconventional dynamics - all stitched and held together with love. 

I was born into an amazing family and I am thankful everyday for their presence in my life.  My parents and siblings, I share blood with, and that's what makes us family.  There are others in my life that I feel very lucky to call family.  We don't share blood, but we share spirit.  We are connected in unconditional love, understanding, and support.  Nathan and Linae Coats are my family by spirit.  They are amazing people who have blessed my life beyond belief.

My first recollection of Nathan was in grade school when we, the Weston 6th graders, planned on competing with our Clifton counterparts during field day.  As silly preteen girls, we talked about the cute boys from the other school.  Nathan was on that list.  So, my first interaction with him was through the lens of a school girl crush.  As Weston and Clifton came together in Jr. High, I think we all were a little disappointed when Nathan chose to "go out" with an older 8th grade woman.  During this time, our friendship blossomed and continued throughout high school.  I think Nathan and I spent every lunch hour together, talking about the concerns in our lives - girls, boys, sports and every other thing that was deemed important at that time.  I now know that many people questioned our relationship and what we were doing while spending all of that time together, but nothing romantic ever happened.  After high school, I went on to college, Nathan went on his mission, and we lost track of our friendship.

Also during high school, my aunt's niece (on her side) would come and visit from Texas.  She was from the big city (or so I thought), she was beautiful, and was kind of quiet.  Putting all these attributes together, I had determined that she thought she was a little better than the farm kids she was forced to hang out with while visiting her Aunt Sue.  Linae came back after high school to attend Utah State University, the same place that I chose to attend.  During this time, I got to know the real Linae.  She was definitely beautiful to look at, but was as beautiful on the inside as out.  We were never really close, but ran in some of the same circles at college, but lost track of each other after we both got married.

Over twenty years has passed and life has a way of bringing back around those that are meant to be in your life.  Nathan's first marriage ended and during that time, we found each other and our friendship again.  I also ended up running into Linae at a family wedding.  I suggested that the two, who had dated some during her high school visits, should get together again.  A few months later, I was happy to hear that they had figured out they were exactly what each other needed.  They have now been married for three years and have nine kids combined.  They have their hands full and have had their share of hurdles and obstacles.  All of these they have faced with open hearts, love, and perseverance.

I, like everyone else, have had my own struggles.  Some have been life changing. When I am feeling defeated, I look to these two beautiful people for inspiration.  They inspire me to be the best version of myself, to face adversity with openness, and forgive without restraint.  I am so blessed to call them family - not because we grew up in the same home, but because they feel like home.  Love you two so much!

A Day of Celebration

While most of you are choosing to be negative today, I definitely choose to celebrate!  You see, plans were made, some were sidelined, but it all ended beautifully!

Twenty years ago today, I was asked a very important question - to which I answered "yes"!  And, looking at the picture above, how could I not choose to be happy today?

David was attending BYU, it was a Friday, and I was anxiously awaiting his arrival for the weekend.  The week previous (on Halloween of all days), we had decided that we were both ready to get married.  Christmas and my birthday were just around the corner, so I anticipated that one of those days would be the "magical" one chosen to officially pop the question. 

 I had no idea about the plans David had for our date that night.  The signs were there, but I was pretty clueless (shocking, I know).  He wanted to take me to Copper Mill for dinner.  I insisted on Wendy's (I am still confused over that one).   He was driving kind of erratically that night and seemed anxious.  Still I didn't get it. Then, when we ended up at a field filled with sheep and he insisted that we go out in the middle of them (something I had told him on many occasions that I wanted to do - stand in the middle of a sea of sheep.  Weird, I know), I resisted, stating that I had on a brand new pair of jeans.  So, after having all of his plans thrown aside, by me, he dropped down on one knee.  To this I exclaimed "you're going to do this now?"(I later explained my assumption about Christmas and my birthday).   This scared him slightly and he started to get up.  I immediately pushed him back down and told him to go on.  End of story......or just the beginning.

Our courtship was a quick one....all of 3 1/2 months before we decided that we were meant to be.  Looking back, that was just plain crazy.  I feel lucky every day that I answered the way I did, but still it was a real gamble, making such a big decision after so little time.  A gamble, maybe, but one that definitely paid off big!

Love you, David, now and always!!

Exercising....and Motivation

When it comes to the subject of exercising, I lack one thing....motivation.  I don't find it fun, or freeing, or refreshing.  There are other activities that I've found that rejuvenate me just fine.  The only motivation I am left with is one of trying to magically turn back the clock or fight gravity and that seems like a losing battle.  Too bad it's not as easy as DST and we've all seen those ladies that deny their age and just look ridiculous.  Obviously, these are the justifications I use that aid in my lack of exercise commitment.

Today is different.  I am going to exercise....my right to vote.  Trust me, I have had times that I lack motivation.  I live in a predominately red state, which means that no matter how I vote, it really doesn't seem to matter.  I have a busy day planned and taking time to go vote seems, honestly, kind of pointless, yet I have never missed a vote since 1992 - even if it's just local elections (which I actually feel I have a say in).  

So why do I keep doing it?  Mostly because it is my right and privilege.  I think back to the images in Iraq of those risking their lives just to cast their ballot and embrace a freedom that I am granted on a regular basis.  I do it for those women who are still deemed less than equal and are not given a voice.  I do it because whether it counts or not, it is also my duty and I feel a very real sense of "country" when I exercise my right to vote.

This year, more than others, I also have a motivation to see this election cycle end and casting my vote is a part of that closure.  Seeing politics through the lens of social media is a study in social and human psychology for sure.  I have seen more divisiveness, grand assumptions, and name calling than ever.  Words like "liar", "tyranny", "lazy", "stupid", and others have been used in an attempt to sure up one's point of view as they share it with others.  Phrases like "I can't understand why" or "it's just so crazy" to describe points of view that don't align with one's already held.

All of this talk is very disheartening to me.  It makes me lack hope in humanity.  I am sure these statements cross party lines.  Of course, I am only inundated from one direction, but I am not so naive that I don't understand that there is enough name calling to go around.  Right now our country is pretty much split down the middle when it comes to voting - or at least that is what the polls are saying.  So when one claims that "those who vote for **** are just plain stupid"  or "a vote for **** is a vote for tyranny" I have to question that person's own thoughtfulness.  To simply disregard one half of our country's citizens in that manner is less than wise or respectful.  

The beauty of America, in my opinion, is that through diversity we move forward - diversity of cultures, diversity of thought, diversity of perspectives.  If we only surround ourselves with people and perspectives like our own, we are never challenged and likely to never see any kind of change.  So, to blatantly disregard anyone or any thought that challenges our own is naive.  To never see the value in an opposing thought is to refuse understanding and it's through understanding that we also move forward.  It's not that we have to embrace all points of view, but to disregard diversity of thought is just as silly.

As for diversity, it will find it's way onto my own ballot as I really don't align myself with any one party.  I try to look at individual issues and vote for what I truly believe is the best, not just for me, but for my fellow citizens.  I also believe that not any one candidate is the magic fix to all problems.  As humans we are all flawed.  We also all have our own strengths. So I will prioritize my issues, look at the strengths that are brought to the table and vote....whether it counts or not.  And, if my vote isn't the same as yours, well, let me assure you, I am not lazy, stupid, a tyrant, or lack love for my country.  I am an American citizen and like it or not, it's my right.  I will embrace it, celebrate it, and yes, I will exercise it!!

My Celebrity Crush

Anyone who knows me very well at all knows that I am, maybe, a little unconventional. This applies to many aspects of my life, including my celebrity crush.  I may seem a little old to be talking about, let alone, admitting that I have one.  You see, it's not some young, hot new actor - the ones you see and can read about in the celebrity gossip magazines.  It's not one of the hotties from back in the day, like Tom Cruise (a little too unconventional, if you know what I mean) or Brad Pitt (a little too pretty).  There is just something about a nice guy.  The one who is sincere, funny, and won't break your heart.  One with a great smile.  (As I type this out, it all makes more sense).  This is the guy who I would love to meet in real life!

Yes, it's Steve Carrell.  Not only does he usually play the nice guy in most movies, he also does in life. He's married with two kids - a real family guy.  How can you not love him?

Emilee brought home her two roommates for the weekend and yesterday, I got to share with them my favorite Steve Carrell movie, Dan in Real Life.  It's a sweet, sad, comedy about a widower trying to love again.  Ever since I saw it in the theater a few years back, I end up renting and watching it at least five times a year.  Most of those end of being in the fall - not sure why.  If you haven't already seen it, you should check it out.

If you've already seen it, go rent it!  What could be more fun for a fall afternoon than reliving new love and all it's crazy quirks.

Ahhhh...November

Well, another October has come and gone.  I am a huge fan of the month, but to be completely honest - I really don't like Halloween.  I know that just sounds awful.  It's not because I think it's some kind of terrible worship of the occult, but it is just crazy.  I've spent so many years having to carve multiple pumpkins (since the kids were too little be handling knives), make multiple candy runs (since we can't help ourselves and we break into the trick or treat candy days before), and even though I have a lovely Mother-in-law that helps the little ones figure out costumes, someone has a come-apart every Halloween night trying to figure out a last minute costume.

This year was a little different.  All of the kids carved their own pumpkins.  I still had to clean out Lottie's since she can't handle the slimy pumpkin guts.  Overall, pumpkin carving was much easier this year, but only five jack-o-lanterns on the porch makes me a little sad.....

Here's the kids with their creations -

They did a great job! 

Not only was Halloween different when it came to pumpkin carving, it was also the first year that we just stayed home.  Steven went trick or treating with a friend, Herman didn't want to go alone, and Maren had a friend party in the basement.  The older girls got home from basketball tryouts and were more than content to eat party pizza and sit around the table.  We had no trick or treaters come to the house and we actually forgot to light our jack-o-lanterns.  Sounds pretty lame, eh?  Lame, maybe, but more relaxing and enjoyable for sure.  I will miss raiding the kids Halloween candy bags for the next week or so, but hey, I don't need it.  I have 120 of the "world's finest" chocolate bars in the house for some school science fund raiser.  By the way, need any more chocolate?

Aside from Halloween, October has been filled with basketball tournaments, family vacation to Washington, and putting the yard to bed.  All good things, but November means snow flurries, sweater weather, and Thanksgiving - yum, turkey!!  It also means that the kids can't get too mad at me for listening to Christmas music - not that I haven't already, but I now can without shame.

Ahhhhh....November!!